If Self Loathing Could Be Raised to an Art Form

Discipline.

The word makes me cringe. Only because I lack so much.

Do you ever just step outside yourself and take a good, long look at who you've become. Yeah, I try not to, either.

But today I did.

Frustrated by the many good things I want to do...and don't, mostly because of a lack of discipline.

Writing, painting, running, homemaking, gardening, cooking, knitting...blogging... I have so many interests, yet it seems that all I can accomplish is going to work and spending a few short minutes/hours with the family in the evening.

If I do find time to devote to my pursuits, I find myself meandering around getting ready to do it until I actually run out of time to do it.

I look at men and women who lived 40-60 years ago and didn't have the advantages or shortcuts I have today, yet they accomplished so much. (Maybe because, many of my advantages have turned into more distraction than anything...)

I envy those who are driven by their creativity.Those who create almost compulsively. I have just enough creativity to make me crazy. I want to create, then, if I have opportunity, I sit like a lump wondering what to do and where to start. If I happen to have an original, creative thought, it usually arrives at the most inopportune time. Like when I'm in the middle of working.

You want to know when I find myself the most motivated?
When I either get disgusted enough, or guilty enough with myself. "Ooooh, haven't been running or exercised in 3 days! Aaaand you're not eating well! You're thickening up there! Better move it!" *Cue guilty panic.*

"Just do it." Says the now cliche advertising tag line.

Some days, that's easier said than done.

Unabashed Pride

My first attempt at a Picnik collage.And a rather unabashed display of pride in my daughter...

A Heady Rainbow...

Proof that I Paint...at it.

Wow. You can tell school's out around here...I actually have time to do blog posts in the morning! Everyone is still in bed and I have some quiet time to myself.

I've been meaning to share this for awhile...well, you know how that goes...

This is a painting that I'm working on. Truthfully, I haven't worked on it in weeks. Haven't touched any paint in weeks. *sigh*

It's just some fun doodling. No real plan to get here or wherever else it's going.

Serendipity painting...

Quality Time...with Me

Sunday afternoon...

A thoughtful husband who insisted I rested. He also made sure everyone else was resting so the house was quiet for awhile...

Time on the computer... it's not the Apple of my eye, but it works. (So far...)

A hot summer day at the computer just cries out for an icy glass of Coke. The Real Thing.

A Coke and a Blog.

I think there's a new SuperBowl ad there somewhere...

The Adventure Continues...

More photos from Alabama...it really was pretty up there. I'm enjoying going through the photos again... I really didn't want to leave.

Doesn't this look like a portal into a magical place? Portal

Old Shed
Pine Bough Frame
Gate
Creek My First Time fishing! Cleaning the catch! My Job...Turning on the water to rinse the ick.

Oooh...He's a CUTIE!!!

Ahem. Moving right along....

Deer (?) Skeletons

I Went Down Deep...

Memorial Day weekend found me and my family traveling with friends.

Sounds lovely. Especially since my friend volunteered her 15 year old daughter to help watch my daughter.

I began picturing myself languishing about and alternately living it up like Don King.

Then Jean says, "Oh, and bring your machete."

WHAT?!! Where are these people taking me??!!

Turns out, we were headed deep into the woods of Alabama.

Creek behind Hezzy House
Hezzy House backview
Hezzy House frontview

No. My side is not hurting me. (Unless you count the machete

poking me in the ribs.)

BTW: That machete wouldn't cut hot butter. Nor would it bruise

the leaf of a briar bush.

But it pains me to think about it, apparently...
To be continued...

An ALMOST Interesting Post...

I feel that we are on the verge of getting a new computer for my husband. This cheers me greatly because perhaps, then, I wouldn't have to worry about uploading my pics onto this computer because he's in the middle of some project that I might screw up because I was uploading pictures.

Case in point: This post is NOT going to regale you with my AWESOME Memorial Day weekend hijinks because I CAN'T UPLOAD MY PHOTOS RIGHT NOW.

Darn.

Suffice it to say, I had a MARVELOUS time at an idyllic location buried deep in the back woods of Alabama.

It was a weekend full of fishing, fireflies, tramping through the woods (machete in hand), horseback riding, playing in the creek, rowing across the pond and generally sitting around sighing with satisfaction.

And just as SOON as I can, I'll post some pics.